Whatever it takes.

I’m sorry for not being online at all the last 3-4 weeks.

I’m going to some rough times. I feel alone. I feel depressed. 

I confessed to my mother that I think I have mia… Let me tell you, worst decision ever. She’s not even helping. All she did was yell at me. It made me get even worse. I wanted help getting out of the hole I’m in and all she did was push me further down. I need help. I’ve been self harming non stop. Today she made a joke about me “throwing up my food” and I felt so horrible. I WANTED TO DIE. My mother, making fun about her daughters disorder. We fought about it and now my dad is trying to convince ME to apologize to HER. HELL NO! She made me feel like crap in front of everyone, she’s the one who should be apologizing. And then my dad has the balls to tell me that my problems aren’t that big of a deal. Seriously? He doesn’t even know/cares about my problems. I SELF HARM AND DESTROY MY BODY ALL DAY LONG. THAT’S NOT BIG ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM FOR YOU?  

Anyways, I’ll be posting a lot now. I need an escape from all of this.

Fasting today with the permission of my parents. Fuck yeah.

binged again

1vanilla late from starbucks
1 BIG cinamon roll
A bowl of pasta
A Maggie Moo’s ice cream with cameos and cooking dough
3 bags of Bimbo cookies
1 twix
And 2 shortbread cookies

Imma go purge now, again

I just binged.
I ate:
3 massive pancakes
1 Grilled Cheese
1 bag of corn flakes
1 cinnamon roll
1 pack of town house
and a WHOLE gallon of milk.

so yea imma go purge.